My Story
“All Parts Welcome, No bad Parts”
I am honored to share my story of healing because it brought me to my soul’s purpose: to be a healer and share my medicine of dance with the world. I always felt there was a greater meaning or purpose for me in life than what I was doing, but I didn’t know what. I was teaching fitness classes, which I loved , as it felt great, however I couldn't do it physically full-time to pay my bills. Becoming a Personal Trainer in 2015 felt great, because I was helping people achieve their goals and motivate them to do so. I also felt a huge piece was missing training clients on merely a physical level, and wanted to encompass a more holistic training approach. Helping clients grow mentally, emotionally and physically was more sustainable but I didn’t know fully how to do that work other than intuitively which worked at the time. When I ran and operated my Personal Training, Fitness, Dance and Burlesque company it was amazing on paper, and looked great. However, I did not feel great. I felt unworthy, low self-esteem and out of my league, even though I didn’t show that and helped many women. In the end I didn’t truly succeed with those limiting beliefs that were tucked away, as ignoring them only made it worse.
After many years of failed therapy, I received IFS therapy for the first time, as I was slowly and surely losing my father to alcoholism. IFS was the first (and only) modality of therapy which helped me heal some of the long standing wounds, and adopt behaviors in line with my True Self when faced with the reality of my dad’s decline.
When I severely injured my knee for the second time in November 2018, it completely took me out of the game once again. I had once again broken a previously injured part of my femur, leaving a hole in my bone, and shattered bones in the joint. No movement at all, and I could barely walk. I had to close my company - my baby that I poured my soul into, and find different work. The intense PTSD left me empty and depression flooded in. I had to be okay with never being able to dance again or even being active because I could not get any answers from the surgeon or doctors. After finally getting into surgery I thought my luck had changed. When I opened my eyes immediately after surgery, I asked my surgeon, “Did you fix it?!” He said “No, the hole was too big to plug. We just removed all the bone fragments.” After that, he dropped my care, gave me a brace and said “Hopefully that works.” Life was bleak, and I’d lost m y passion. My knee was deteriorating slowly with arthritis, and it seemed incurable. I became an Education Assistant to pay my bills, being back in the work matrix made me feel helpless and sink deeper.
I tried filling the void with alcohol and food, but nothing worked. A small part of me - my True Self - never gave up, even though the dark clouds did what they could to cover it. With dark times we can find a grain of truth and power which can fuel a new beginning and trajectory. With my longing to belong, need for dance and perseverance, the universe graced me with two lovely nurses that connected me with the perfect surgeon.
Post surgery is when I dove deep into IFS healing my wounds and restoring wholeness. I have transformed completely and I owe it to IFS. I would be back in the same stress and burnout cycle if it wasn’t for IFS Therapy and I want to share this lease on life I have with all. I went to school to become an IFS Practitioner at the IFS Institute and it resonates deeply with my life experiences, dance, somatic work and Tantric background. I finally feel I belong and I am home in my body, and unleashed! My heart is full and I am radiating. IFS is a lifestyle that feels so empowering!
If you are resonating with this or feeling the call to come home in your body, hop on a Complimentary Discovery Call for resources and tips!
